Saturday, April 16, 2011

Anonymous Letter

I forgive myself and I am forgiven.

I forgive western medicine for helping my mother become and sustain being a drug addict. I forgive myself for being so angry for so long. I forgive the media for scaring people into submission, including my happy peaceful dad. I forgive all the unkind things ever said to me, and by me. I forgive myself for not feeling like I am good enough. I am willing to forgive humans for polluting and disrespecting this beautiful planet and ourselves. I forgive myself for any bad choices - I forgive myself inaction for for fear of making bad choices. I forgive conventional farmers for still dumping chemicals into the Earth and calling it food and 'not harmful.' I forgive humans for arrogantly thinking we know more than nature. I forgive myself for all the critical/judgemental and self loathing thoughts I've had about my body, my abilities and my life. I forgive myself for thinking about being attached to the pain of the past. I forgive myself for creating hypnotizing stories about tragedy, lack and fear. I forgive myself for believing them. I forgive myself for thinking judgemental thoughts about lesbians and gays. I forgive all the people, particularly the catholic church, for teaching me those beliefs. I forgive you mom for teaching me to hate myself and forcing me to defend myself from the earliest age. I forgive you for hating your life. I forgive you for being lazy and obbsessed with outer appearances. I forgive you for pitting all of us against each other. I forgive you for selling yourself for drugs. I forgive myself for being relieved when you passed away. I forgive myself for any unkind thing I ever said to you. I forgive you for telling me no one would ever love me. I forgive you for teaching me to expect the worst I forgive you for deliberately making us afraid all the time. I forgive you for wasting your life and causing so much pain and havoc in the family. I forgive you for mocching off Grampy, Shannon and anyone else ensnared by your lies. I forgive you for never telling the truth. I forgive you for not protecting me as a little girl. I forgive you for dumping all your emotional/ancestral baggage for me to heal. I forgive myself for signing on for that. I forgive myself for being stubborn. I forgive myself for not loving the human parts of me. I forgive myself for giving unconditional love to so many others and not to myself. I forgive myself for being distracted by my own pain for so long. I forgive the world for mirroring those beliefs back to me. I forgive and I set myself free. I forgive and I set myself free. I forgive and I set myself free. I forgive and I set myself free. I forgive and I set myself free. I forgive and I set myself free. I forgive and I set myself free. I forgive and I set myself free. I forgive and I set myself free. I forgive and I set myself free. I forgive and I set myself free. I forgive and I set myself free. I forgive and I set myself free. I forgive and I set myself free. I forgive and I set myself free. I forgive and I set myself free. I forgive and I set myself free. I forgive and I set myself free. I forgive and I set myself free. I forgive and I set myself free. I forgive and I set myself free. I forgive and I set myself free. I forgive and I set myself free. I forgive and I set myself free. I forgive and I set myself free. I forgive and I set myself free. I forgive and I set myself free. I forgive and I set myself free. I forgive and I set myself free. I forgive and I set myself free. I forgive and I set myself free. I forgive and I set myself free. I forgive and I set myself free. I forgive and I set myself free. I forgive and I set myself free. I forgive and I set myself free. I forgive and I set myself free. I forgive and I set myself free. I forgive and I set myself free. I forgive and I set myself free. I forgive and I set myself free. I forgive and I set myself free. I forgive and I set myself free. I forgive and I set myself free. I forgive and I set myself free. I forgive and I set myself free. I forgive and I set myself free. I forgive and I set myself free. I forgive and I set myself free. I forgive and I set myself free. I forgive and I set myself free. I forgive and I set myself free. I forgive and I set myself free. I forgive and I set myself free.

Anonymous
San Francisco, CA

Thursday, April 7, 2011

Forgiveness Letter

i forgive you for making a bet about my innocence and for trying to destroy it.

i forgive you for equating me and the people i love with pedophiles and zoophiles. i
forgive you for being so controlling and manipulative with your children, your wife,
and with me. i forgive you for taking me in relatively whole and sending me home
broken. i forgive you for the stress and anxiety as i worked through what i lived
through last year. i forgive you for the harm you do to people i love and to me. but
i forgive myself for letting you. i forgive myself for acquiescing in the name of new
cultural experiences. i forgive myself for thinking it was because of my queerness
that it felt as bad as it was. i forgive myself for being unable to fix it for the next
volunteer. i forgive myself for not being able to protect myself and leave.

i forgive you for not understanding. i forgive myself for the frustration of explaining
queer. i forgive myself for not keeping connected. i forgive myself for feeling guilty
when i needed time to renew.

i forgive you for believing that i can only be passionate about my queerness. i
forgive you for not hearing or listening to me. i forgive myself for not finding a way
to be heard.

i forgive you for tearing apart my church. i forgive you for driving away the best
connection i have to my home congregation. i forgive you for not living up to your
call and ordination. i forgive you for impeding the hearing of the gospel. i forgive
myself for not speaking up in time. i forgive myself for not knowing what to do or
how best to do it.

i forgive you for getting divorced.

i forgive you for resigning and not telling me.

i forgive myself for not loving myself as god's beloved child. i forgive myself for the
guilt i feel because of how, where, when and to whom i was born.

i forgive so that now i can live into genuine relationship with those around me.
i forgive so that i can pursue intentionality in life and love.
i forgive so that my walls can begin to come down.
i forgive so that i might know others more deeply.
i forgive so that i can have the freedom to be me, whoever that is, 100%


emily e. ewing
Chicago, IL

Wednesday, April 6, 2011

I forgive you letter

Maya Angelou said, "you do what you can, until you know better."

I forgive myself for not knowing better sooner. I let go of the sense that I ought to have done more in situations where it was perfectly normal to just be a kid, to be afraid or to simply be human. I cherish the fact that I now have a voice and life that is strong enough to not only protect myself, but to speak out for others - particularly those thought to be the most vulnerable.

I forgive the angry men and women in my life who have created a sense in me that chaos is manageable and that I must carry more than is mine to carry. I understand now the systems of violence and generations of baggage that you are carrying. I do my best to not take yours on as my own and forgive myself when I walk the rutted roads of my ancestors that lead only to fear and shame.

I release myself from the useless debates in my brain that think: humility is opposed to achieving my dreams; trivial actions and speech are correlated to the amount of love I experience from the world and loved ones; about what life would be like without my disabilities; and the ways in which I have stumbled the past.

I resolve to do what I can, until I know better.

I forgive you and I am forgiven.


Megan Rohrer
San Francisco, CA

Tuesday, April 5, 2011

Forgiveness Letter

I forgive myself for the many times in which I was not able to arrive strongly by my side as my own best friend. I forgive myself for the times when I badly needed support and when I received no help from others, I scrutinized and judged myself instead of accepting and being with myself. I recognize that it is more challenging to love oneself than others at times. In recognizing this and forgiving myself for not being able to self-actualize and advocate, I am letting it go. I recognize that I have learned much in a few years, and it is no longer constructive to carry around the weight of these past hurts. In setting down the bag of these hurts I am individuating from a state of victimization to a state of empowerment.

Anonymous
Oakland, CA